My PocketMoney Backflip
Why I Changed My Mind About Pocket Money (and What Happened Next)
Last year, I shared a blog about why we don’t do pocket money in our household. I spoke about how chores are part of being a family, and that contributing to the household shouldn’t come with a price tag. That still holds true.
But recently, my ex and I were talking about how often the kids ask for things. Ten dollars here, a few dollars there. Roblox credits, bubble teas, apps they’re convinced they can’t live without. And we realised something important…
In their world, money just appears. There’s no real link between effort and outcome. No clear understanding of where it comes from or the choices involved in spending it.
That’s not the message we want them to grow up with.
So we made a change.
We’ve decided to introduce an allowance. Not tied to chores. Those are still an expected part of daily life. But to start building their understanding of how money works. It’s not a reward. It’s a learning tool.
We trialled it straight away. One of the kids asked for something, and instead of saying yes or no, we said, “Sure, but it will come out of your money.”
And just like that, the conversation shifted. The usual quick yes became a pause. “Do I really want it?” they asked. That small moment showed me we were on the right track.
Even in these early days, I can see their thinking has started to shift. They’re weighing things up, noticing costs, and realising that spending means letting go of something else. It’s helping them build confidence with decision-making and responsibility, two skills I want them to carry for life.
This isn’t about being rigid or creating pressure. It’s about helping them practise. I’m not expecting perfection. I just want them to start learning how to manage money in a safe environment, where they can make mistakes and ask questions.
It’s also taken the pressure off me to be the constant “no” machine. Now, when they want something, they know it’s up to them to decide if it’s worth it.
If you read my earlier post and thought “that’s where I’m at too,” I still stand by the idea that there’s no one right way. Pocket money isn’t the only way to teach kids about money. There are lots of tools and conversations that can help build money skills without impacting your cash flow.
But for us, this small shift has already made a big difference. And if you’re thinking about doing something similar, it might just be the tweak your family needs too.
Gemma
My New book The Money Reset can help you get your own finances on track, plus it has lots of useful tips and tricks for talking to kids about money: